A photo to make you smile

(via Unrealitymag)

We’ve Gone Viral! (in Japan)

Many of you may have seen this video:

It’s super cute and has just become my most viewed video (by about a hundred thousand). So that’s really cool!

Did I mention that they are predominantly in Japan? Turns out it has been posted on at least three big Japanese blogs.

The thing is, can it be classed as viral? Well definitions vary but this one seems to disagree:

I think you have the wrong definition of viral. Just because a video has a lot of views doesn’t mean it’s viral. Viral means that the video is posted everywhere to advertise/talk about it, whether it encourages you to or not. Obviously more views comes from this, but it’s possible to just have a video in one location with a lot of views and have it not be considered viral.

Whatevah.

Anyway, it’s cool because now I can sing this with Tom Waits:

“I didn’t ask for your life story.” #7 – Grandma

It surprises me really, that after doing this blog for almost a year now; looking back I can find no reference to a lady who despite not being around since 1999, had a great effect on my life.

• Mornings

I’d wander down the green carpeted stairs, running my fingers along the textured wallpaper. It was early, and I would assume I was the only one awake. I’d push open the living room door only to find Grandma, sat on the sofa in her bright pink dressing gown, up before everyone; reading her Bible.

I’d watch her put on her makeup, the best bit was when she’d draw her eyebrows on, Dad said they’d disappeared in an operation and never grown back.

She had curlers in her light brown hair, which was always immaculate, once the curlers were out; I loved placing my hand softly on her head and bouncing it up and down gently, as if I was touching a cloud.

Time for breakfast. The only time we ever had those mini Kelloggs variety packs was round at Grandma’s . The first few days Coco Pops, Frosties and Ricicles would be eaten, then we were left with the strange ones like Corn Pops and those Loopy Loop things.

Sometimes I’d have honey on toast, Grandma would say, “Don’t tell Granfer you’ve eaten his honey!”

“Who’s been eating my honey?” Granfer would shout from the kitchen, to which I would giggle and grin cheekily.

• Food

Food was always great in Cwmbran, and the best of all the food was jelly.

It was kept in their special fridge, which wasn’t a normal fridge because it was camouflaged. The fridge was with covered with a wooden door to match the drawers and cupboards. I’d never seen a wooden fridge before then, and never have since.

The jelly was strawberry red and was set in small silver bowls. Often, if I found a moment when no one was around, I’d sneak into the kitchen and open the fridge to see if Grandma had made us jelly this time, I never once remember finding a fridge bereft of wibbly wobbly delight.

• Outdoors

One sunny afternoon me and Grandma went round the garden collecting snails. Every one we found we placed on the huge rock which sat on the left side, next to Granfer’s shed. Then we raced them and watched them make silvery trails all over the place.

I also loved the garden because of all the amazing ornaments and models scattered throughout; fisherman gnomes, frogs, squirrels and rabbits.

• Indoors

If it was rainy outside we got to watch a video, the video. A wonderful recorded selection of cartoons from a lost age. Betty Boop, Felix the Cat and Popeye the Sailor.

The house was full of novelty toys which held an endless fascination for my young mind. I loved playing with a clockwork globe which played music as it slowly rotated.

The ornaments weren’t only in the garden, there were also plenty inside. There was a glass cabinet of crystal animals, which I loved staring at, but wasn’t allowed to touch.

There was a china model of a lady in a yellow dress dancing the flamenco, and my personal favourite; a model of an old grumpy Grandad, ironing his trousers.

She was the only person I’d ever known to have a musical doorbell, which played an assortment of nursery rhyme melodies when pressed.

At Christmas time, the house was sprinkled with cards and tinsel, but no tree. “Our house is too little for a Christmas tree.” She explained.

So they had a model of Father Christmas whose head would move from side to side as his arms flowed to the tune of carols played softly, he held a candle in his right hand that lit up and lit down continually.

• Presents

December was always my favourite time of year, as it also held my birthday.

She’d plonk the bulky Argos catalogue in my lap and tell me to choose whatever I wanted. Limitless opportunities for imagination sat in those hours, in which I’d wonder what it would be like to have all the things I saw.

One Christmas, all the grandchildren got remote control cars. I being the oldest boy got the biggest and the best one of the bunch. A monster truck with flames painted on its side. It drove faster than anything and knocked down everything that got in its way.

• Time to go home

When it was time to go home I could never quite believe it, I always had to stop myself from crying at the disbelief that time had gone so fast.

Before we left, Grandma would reach into her magic pot and pull out a packet of refreshers for me and my brother. This gesture always made the journey a lot easier.

She would give my Mum some pocket money for us. 50 pence a week for every grandchild, which adds up after a while. I just hoped we had enough to buy some more jelly.

“I didn’t ask for your life story.” #5 – Ricicles

I must have been about 5 years old, it was the school holidays and Dad had got up with us to give my Mother a lie in. Time for breakfast, which was brilliant because at that time we had one of my favourites in; Ricicles!

What a brilliant cereal! All the Snap Crackle Pop joy of Rice Krispies, but with a much higher sugar content; awesome.

I love it towards the end when you drink up the milk and it’s super sweet, and it doesn’t really matter that by now it looks kind of yellow.

I remember for a limited time, small marshmallow pieces were added to the cereal; that was definitely the closest British cereals have ever got to perfection. Why don’t they do the whole little dry pieces of marshmallow thing in any cereals anymore? People love it! I’m bored of hearing people going on about why America’s great because they have Lucky Charms. Surely there is a market in this country for just one cereal to contain those little lumps of joy! IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

I completely fell for all their marketing techniques as well, I genuinely felt like I had some sort of affinity with Captain Rik, like he was actually a friend of mine. Even though he was probably a graphics student’s summer project.

So there I sat, at the table looking down at my freshly prepared bowl, when suddenly I felt really sick. The very though of eating any Ricicles made me feel even worse.

“Dad, I feel sick”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I feel really sick.”

“Well, try and eat some cereal and see how you feel.”

“No! Please, argh!”

“Stop making a fuss.”

[Starts eating cereal]

Two minutes later:

I’ve never looked at Captain Rik in the same way since.

“I didn’t ask for your life story.” #4 – Foil

(BTW I know I haven’t blogged for at least a week which is never a good thing. I have been keeping myself busy with an interview or two, an 80th birthday party, a concert and other things.)

_____________

Today I’m going to write shortly about foil. Why? Because I can.

• Often, but not always, school packed lunch sandwiches were wrapped in foil. I always had ham and ketchup in my sarnies, if you’re interested. I liked it when they were wrapped in that beautiful thin sheet of aluminium, because that meant after eating I could fashion a sword/dagger out of it. I would pretend I was Robin Hood or Peter Pan or just a cool guy with a shiny knife.

• Foil is also good when you’re bored, especially if you’ve got a Kit Kat handy. Firstly take off the bright red paper cover, then you are left with a foil covered block of chocolate. I would press down the foil on the top so you can see the imprint of where it says “Have a break / Have a Kit Kat”. Sometimes I would press my fingernail into the middle groove and rip the foil down the middle and snap at this point, but that wasn’t really my scene. I usually tried not to rip the foil as I slowly undressed my chocolate, then laid the foil out flat. Now obviously the joy of a Kit Kat is in the eating:

1. Snap it in half.
2. Bite the chocolate off each end.
3. Now the hard & messy bit. Nibble off the chocolate from the sides and the top, until you are left with two bits of wafer.
4. Go round everyone in your class shouting “Look! Look what I done!”

• Running your fingernail across the foil, until it becomes all flat and creaseless, is also very satisfying.

• I remember the 1998 Blue Peter ‘New Future Appeal’ for Schools in Mozambique. One had to collect all sorts of aluminium, cans and foil and stuff; that was cool.

Talking of Blue Peter appeals, I remember back in 1996 when they did the ‘LEPRA Leprosy: Brazil & India Appeal’, I had a Bring & Buy Sale in my garden. I felt really important.

Check out that totaliser!

I really liked Stuart Miles, he was cool.

• Has anyone had that thing when you put some foil in your mouth (for some stupid reason) and if you have fillings (for some stupid reason) you get the strangest tingling sensation in your jaw. Very strange.

• Foil was introduced to Chocolate Advent Calenders about halfway through my childhood, it used to be a thing only the expensive ones had, like an extra gimmick which meant you had to pay an extra quid for it. They all have it now.

That’s about all I got. This is quite interesting:

Video: ‘No, Mr. President’ – a powerful answer to abortion.

I am fully aware that the readers of this blog are divided on this crucial issue. Everyone should watch this video to the end, post your views in the comments if you feel it necessary.

Sibyl’s Travelblog – Issue 17

After recovering (slightly) from our sickness in Agra we made our way to Khujaraho, a small town half way to Varanasi. It wasn’t an easy journey as we had to get the train to Satna first and then get on a bus to Khujarho. It took about 10 hours. Long ting.

We met a gorgeous little Indian girl on the bus though who had incredible English for her age. She had her baby brother with her too, who decided he would only be happy if his mum lifted him up so he could see us; his poor mum! His mum couldn’t speak English but the little girl managed to keep up a conversation with us for a few hours. The entire bus listening to our conversation of course. She tried to give us her bracelet which was really sweet but I wouldn’t let her. She also asked about currency in England and if we had dollars – she didn’t know what pounds were when we told her so we gave her a coin Lucy had in her purse. She and the entire bus (it got passed around) were fascinated by it for a long time!

We spent a few nights in Khujaraho. We visited some of the karma sutra temples around our hotel which is what the region is famous for. On the last day we also went on an Indian safari type thing which is what we had come to the region to do! We wanted to go elephant riding at the national park because we thought they would be kinder to them. The elephants on the street can be treated so cruelly that we decided to make the trip out to Panna National Park. First we drove around looking for tigers, leopards, panthers, crocodiles and peacocks. It was like something out of the Jungle Book! We got to see a leopard which was very exciting and some crocodiles. There were deer everywhere but there were no panthers or tigers that day unfortunately – sightings are very rare.

When it came to the elephant riding (what we had been waiting for) it turned out we couldn’t do it as it rained the day before and the ground wasn’t stable enough for the elephants to walk on. Instead they let us get very close to them and I was happy enough with that. I think they are actually very scary creatures when you are next to them! They are so big; you realise how easy it would be for them to step on you. We were with a mummy and baby elephant and the mummy was very protective (understandably)! The little one kept picking up dirt with it trunk and chucking it at the keeper. The poor thing was chained because apparently it could get aggressive but at least the mum was able to walk around freely and get to her baby if she needed to. It was really sad though – it reminded me of Dumbo.

There were some very strange men working at our hotel in Khujaraho that decided to attach themselves to me and Lucy while we were there so we were glad to leave. Men in India almost decide that you belong to them and won’t leave you alone. We were constantly asking people to stop taking photos of us or declining to have our photos taken with groups of men – often they would ignore this request and follow you around anyway. It could be quite intimidating. Women would even hand us their babies and take photos.

We got the train to Varanasi – which was another 12 hour journey. The trains are possibly the most Indian experience you can get while you are there. You decide to be in seated (which is very crowded and you are sitting up all night), in sleeper (you have a bed but it’s not gauranteed so you can end up sharing it with lots of other people) or in upper class sleeper (a little bit nicer and they are actually reserved for you!) We got one sleeper train while we were in India – not pleasant at all and two upper class sleepers. It was all an amazing experience (looking back on it). Finding your train, getting on the right carriage and then getting off at the right stop is all adventure enough. You also have to avoid the man going around attacking people’s foreheads with red paint and then demanding money. Throughout the night there are chai men walking up and down the train shouted ‘chaaaiiii’ in a very deep voice – quite difficult to sleep through and luggage carrying men with the turbans wrapped around their heads (to balance the luggage on) also patrol the trains and will help you with your bags if you pay them enough.

We arrived in Varanasi from Khujaraho very early in the morning. It is a maze of small, dark, dirty alleyways surrounding the Ganges (the river that runs through India that is considered holy by Hindus.) It is a very interesting place but quite seedy and dark in places and apparently full of crime. I tried to find a church on the Sunday but couldn’t find a thing! I do hope that some Christian work is going on in Varanasi.

We stayed in a nice hotel overlooking the river and because we arrived so early in the morning we were able to watch the sunrise over the river! It was beautiful. It was horrifying how many people bathed in the Ganges because they believe it is holy (according to Wikipedia) 2,000,000 people ritually bathe in the water daily while the bacteria count is 120 times more than is considered safe!

We caught another train back to Delhi. We got to the train station by cycle rickshaw by a man that kept pretending he was a helicopter while not looking at oncoming traffic. Very scary! We stayed in the Tibetan area in Delhi for a few days before flying out. It was a very different experience of India. For a start everyone was Tibetan, it is tiny and there are ‘free tibet’ signs everywhere. Even the TV in our room had the message flash up before it turned on. We experienced a few joys of a major Indian city while we were there such as McDonalds, KFC and Connault Place which is full of western shops! Yay! After a month it was a welcome break.

We left for the airport at 4am to fly to Australia. In true Indian style the roads were as noisy and scary as in the middle of the day! It was a complete shock when we arrived in Melbourne at 6 in the morning and the roads were deadly silent (no crazy rickshaw drivers swerving and beeping.) It took me a while to realise what the difference was – it was quite unnerving at first. We got through customs fine too – a relief! I was worried because we were coming from India and they are so strict with what you can bring in to Australia (there is a whole show on customs) and dirt on your shoes (to protect their wildlife) I thought they might decide to fumagate us, but we survived.

BAFTA television nominations. Some predictions.

I was going to do a whole piece about my predicitions for all the nomintations, but then I realised that I haven’t actually watched half of the TV programmes nominated!

But here are some predictions I am actually qualified to make:

ENTERTAINMENT PERFORMANCE

Stephen Fry
QI
(BBC One)
Harry Hill
Harry Hill’s TV Burp
(ITV1)
Anthony McPartlin & Declan Donnelly
I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!
(ITV1)
Jonathan Ross
Friday Night with Jonathan Ross
(BBC One)

I know everyone hates Jonathan Ross, but I still like his chat show; maybe it’s because I’d love to have one of my own one day *cough*.

In reality this nomination for me is between QI’s Stephen Fry and TV Burp’s Harry Hill, both are now no longer secrets that a select few watched and enjoyed, they are now truly mainstream prime-time classics.

My vote has to go with Harry Hill, because it is consitently brilliantly hilarious. He is actually the only reason that ITV still exists, the only thing which can guarantee a whole family half an hour of non-stop laughing.

COMEDY PERFORMANCE

Rob Brydon
Gavin & Stacey
(BBC Three)
Sharon Horgan
Pulling
(BBC Three)
David Mitchell
Peep Show
(C4)
Claire Skinner
Outnumbered
(BBC One)

Lots of people love Outnumbered, now on it’s second series, I only watched tiny little bits of it when it was on so am in no place to comment.

As you may know, I am a big fan of David Mitchell, but never have properly watched Peep Show; the camera angles get to me.

This award has to go to Brydon, as Uncle Bryn he is easily one of the best things about Gavin & Stacey. Just full of classic lines.

"Bryn means hill in Welsh!"

I’d like Top Gear to win the Feautures award, simply because it is Top Gear.

I’d like The Peter Serafinowicz Show to win Best Comedy. Very underrated sketch show. This guy is amazing:

Brilliant.

March 21st: 3 facts you need to know about Down Syndrome (on World Down Syndrome Day)

I did some research! Read it if you want!

1. Down Syndrome is a common condition.

Down syndrome occurs at the rate of around 1 in 1000 live births in the UK.

Down syndrome is the most common cause of significant intellectual impairment. Based on published research and general population figures, there are currently around:

• 30,000 people with Down syndrome in the United Kingdom.
• 200,000 people with Down syndrome in Western Europe.
• more than 2,000,000 people with Down syndrome worldwide.

2. Down syndrome is the result of a genetic variation.

Each cell in the body usually has 23 pairs of chromosomes (46 in total). Individuals with Down syndrome have an additional copy of chromosome 21 in all or some of the cells in their body (making 47 chromosomes in total).

There are three main types of genetic variation that cause Down syndrome:

• Trisomy 21 – all of the cells in the body have an extra copy of chromosome 21 (this is why Down Syndrome Day is on the 21st). This is the most common type of Down syndrome, found in at least 9 out of 10 people with the condition.
• Translocation – all of the cells in the body have additional chromosome 21 genetic material attached to another chromosome. Only around 1 in 20 people with Down syndrome have the translocation form of the condition.
• Mosaic – only some of the cells in the body have extra chromosome 21 genetic material. Only around 1 in 50 individuals with Down syndrome have the mosaic form of the condition.

3. Down syndrome can affect any family

The reason for the presence of additional chromosome 21 genetic material at the time of conception is still unknown.

Although the risk of having a baby with Down syndrome increases with maternal age, babies with Down syndrome into families from all social, economic and racial backgrounds, and to parents of all ages.

TV: Pocoyo

Logan watches this all the time these days, I never thought Stephen Fry’s voice could get this annoying.

I can’t doubt how well designed the whole thing is though. It’s very modern, or perhaps even post-modern. Apparently it was originally Spanish.