A Miraculous Testimony?

One of the first thoughts of God I remember having as a child was one of ridicule.

“How on earth can people not believe in God? It’s so obvious that there is a God, when a man and a woman get married; God sends them a baby! Where else could a baby come from but from God!?”

I was later corrected on my somewhat naïve logic, but my theories on God didn’t stop there. A few years later, I found myself saying and thinking things like:

“How can we be sure there really is a God?”

“I really do hope there isn’t an after-life, because then we could actually enjoy our time here on earth, instead of having to follow a set of rules and regulations.”

My parents always encouraged such honesty, and my Father was used to answering such questions as he was the pastor of the church I had been taken along to since I was a baby.

As life went on I found that if things were going well in my life, I would only give God the odd thought or two; however if things weren’t going too great I would find myself turning to God and praying to him often.

I decided that if I was going to be part of this Christian thing I should ask for forgiveness for my sins, that’s what I’d heard was the right thing to do. I did that, or at least I tried, but there was no light from above and no change of feeling inside. This was not as romantic as it had been made out to be.

Going on in my early teens I found myself more and more drawn towards the world’s way of thinking. People in school seemed to find me funny and as puberty wore on, my hormones were pulling me in all sorts of directions. I was never a naughty boy in school, but I couldn’t say that I wouldn’t get in trouble on a daily basis from various teachers.

I was having a great time, Sundays were a drag but it was something that I didn’t want to let go of. I felt that I wanted to have a foot on each side of the fence. Have a great time in the ‘real’ world, and have a bit of time to think about spiritual things.

I felt I was “on the fence” so to speak.

My answer was always the same if someone asked me whether I was a Christian, “I’m not sure”. I don’t think I was lying when I said that, I really wasn’t sure, I had asked God to forgive my sins but I wasn’t living as a Christian; and looking back – I wasn’t a Christian.

Summer 2004, I was 14 years old. I had been booked to go along to a Christian camp in Wales, under canvas and all that. It seems that God really does bless such ocassions, and he did so on that week. I suppose it was partly due to me having many examples from older Christians, as well as being out of the context of ‘a church’ and also having a real focus on God’s word. I know that people were praying for me, and God spoke to me throughout that week. I was really persuaded that to ask God for a new life was the right thing.

Looking back on my story, in a way I wish it was different; more romantic. I think to myself,

It would sound better if I wasn’t brought up in a Christian environment, or if I had gone off the rails a bit more, taken drugs, gone to prison – it’s those conversions that are truly miraculous.

But that isn’t true. I was a lost soul. I was heading for destruction. I had no hope.

God saved me. God helped me, and he continues to do so to this day. Through Jesus my sins are forgiven, that is a miracle!

This post can also be found on new theology blog, Onward Motion.

Is imagining that cartoons are real, normal?

I was having a chat with my niece the other day about the things she believed in:

• Fairies.
• Magic.
• Lions (but apparently they only appear in the zoo).

As well as these things she told me that she believed in God. She also pointed out that he was the only one she’d ever talked to. Which was encouraging.

There were other things which she told me were not real:

• Monsters.
• Ghosts.
• Things in films.

Then I asked her about TV programmes that she watched on CBeebies and other such things. Did she think they were real? I gave here an example, “Charlie and Lola, do you think that Charlie and Lola are real?”. Let me point out that Charlie and Lola are clearly drawings, they are cartoon things. However they do have very well characterised voices and other well chosen qualities.

Indigo said that Charlie and Lola were real. She said that she had never met them, but they were definitely real. This isn’t purely a case of her thinking everything on TV is real, like I pointed out she does not think most films are real. So why does she draw an exception with Charlie and Lola?

I’m sure a lot of you psychologists, or even better child psychologists, or ideally just a psychic could tell me why she thinks these things. If you know anything please tell me.

I assume it’s purely due to the fact that she holds a particular affinity to those two characters. They are her age, they think and act like her. It’s just not in a child’s mind to think that something is not real—except for when it’s scary.

They are drawn and animated well but I still can’t get how she imagines meeting them in her mind. I guess she just imagines meeting a cartoon. I don’t know. I am trying to remember whether I thought cartoons were real or whether I knew they were drawn. Maybe it’s possible to hold both views—to know they are cartoons but to still think they’re real.

Ah, the questions.